Month: May 2024

We are often told by our loved ones, and our society, to ‘be strong’. And we are told to take pride in our ability to withstand life’s struggles. And it’s true. You should be proud of the fact that, no matter what hardships you have been through, you still keep going. You are pursuing your career dreams and striving to build a better life for yourself. Your resilience and determination is admirable, and you should celebrate these qualities. 

But the pressure of being ‘strong’ and showing the world that we are ok can make us feel trapped and alone. Many of us grew up being told ‘don’t cry’, or ‘be grateful for what you have’ and we learned to hide and ignore our feelings. But ignoring our feelings doesn’t make them go away – and the more we run from our problems, the bigger they can seem. This way of living can have a big impact on our physical and mental health. But we don’t have to suffer alone. 

The truth is, that everything we go through in life affects us. No matter how small, every positive and negative leaves an imprint on who we are, and how we think, feel, and act. It is totally normal for the struggles we go through (past and present), to cause us to feel difficult emotions like stress, pain, anger, resentment, guilt, frustration, and sadness. And when bad things happen to us we need a little bit of help to feel better. 

Here are some tips and resources to help you keep going if stress and pressure feel too much.   

5 things to remember if you are struggling with your feelings:

1. Your feelings are normal and valid. No matter how you are feeling, you are not weak or ungrateful for reacting to the situation you are in. Struggling with your emotions is not a sign of weakness. It is part of being a human.
2. If it matters to you, then it matters! You don’t need to justify your feelings to anybody. We are all unique, and we have different lives and personalities. What is a big deal to you might not be to someone else, and that is ok! 
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. Suffering is not a competition. Different people will react differently to the same situation. And different things will make us feel better. So just focus on you. Let go of any guilt or negative judgment – it’s not helping you, in fact, it is probably making things worse. 
4. Wisdom is knowing when to ask for help. You don’t have to go through everything alone, so don’t let pride stop you from getting the support you need! Sometimes simply talking openly and honestly to someone you trust can help you feel better. People who care about you want to help you – so give them a chance. 
5. Try different things to figure out what helps you the best. It can be difficult to know where to start when you are feeling down and struggling to manage. There is so much advice out there on the Internet, so break it down. Just pick one thing that sounds good to you and see if it helps. Then try another. Then another. Take it one small step at a time, and take the pressure off. Eventually, you will find which tips work best for you and help you to feel better.

If you are feeling down, depressed, or stressed, here are some resources that you might find helpful. 

Influencers/therapists to follow 

• Dr Saliha Afridi – Instagram
• Lighthouse Arabia – Instagram 
• Safa Al Chami – Tiktok 
• Dr Sara Ahmad – TikTok
  

  

Videos: 

• How to calm your anxiety from a neuroscientist 

Websites: 

• Mind – useful info on different mental health issues 
• Man Up – men talking to men about their mental health 
• jannahwithin.com – a helpful guide to ‘self-care’ 

We all get stressed and find it hard to cope sometimes. When emotions are high and we start to feel anxiety in our stomach, blood pressure rising, or painful headaches, there are some quick and easy things we can do to feel better.

• Breathing exercises 

People often underestimate the power of deep breathing and the impact it has on our nervous system, blood pressure and stress levels. If you find yourself feeling anxious, angry, or overwhelmed take a slow deep breath in through your nose, hold it for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds then inhale for four seconds. Keep repeating a few times and you will notice the difference. Here are nine more breathing exercises you can try – see which one you like best. 

 

• Gentle exercise 

Movement and exercise can relieve stress instantly. You don’t have to go to the gym if you can’t or don’t want to. You could simply go for a walk, or find a short no-equipment home workout on YouTube. Go at your own pace, and try to enjoy it. The aim is not to de-stress, not to punish yourself. A lot of people I know love at home yoga with Adriene. Slow and gentle stretches combined with controlled breathing can really help ease the tension from your body.   

 

• Meditation 

Meditation is about creating space to be calm and still. When you meditate you breathe deeply and gently notice all the thoughts rushing through your mind. You might also notice lots of different feelings and sensations in your body. You can meditate in five minutes – you don’t have to take a long time to feel the benefit of it – so you can even do it at your desk at work if you need to. Meditation and prayer go hand in hand. If you are someone who prays, you might find that the practices have an impact on one another. You can get some helpful meditation tips here.

 

• Stop scrolling through news and social media 

It is ok to take a break from news and social media. When you are stressed, consuming content which will make you feel more upset is not going to help. Instead try to focus your attention onto a more positive and uplifting distraction. For example, pick a topic you are really interested in and read an article/ watch a video/listen to a podcast about it. We recommend setting yourself a limit on the time you spend on news sites and social media apps (you can set up a time limit on most phones). And don’t forget to mute, unfollow or block any accounts that negatively affect your mood. You could even try deleting all your apps for one week to see what difference it makes to your mood and stress levels. Here are a few more tips on taming your social media habit. 

 

• Talk about your feelings 

Talking about how you feel can help lift the weight from your shoulders. Sometimes you don’t need or want advice, you just need to express yourself and feel supported and listened to. And that’s ok. Seeking comfort in others is not a weakness. It can be a relief to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. It might help you find a new way of looking at a problem. Think about who makes you feel safe and loved. Here are some tips on preparing for a conversation about your feelings. And here are some tips for dealing with cultural mental health stigma.

 

• Write a journal

Grab a pen and notebook, or your phone or computer if you prefer, and write about how you’re feeling. Don’t overthink it, just write from your heart – everything you are thinking and feeling. Many people find this a helpful way to untangle different thoughts and worries. When you see something written down it can help you find a new perspective on a problem. This is especially helpful if you’re not sure who to talk to, or you don’t feel ready or able to speak about your problems with others. Here are some more tips on different ways to journal.

• Cry 

Crying is healthy and normal and we all need to do it sometimes. And yes, that includes grown men too! You do not have to cry in front of anybody else, but remember, tears are a blessing. There is no shame in this normal bodily process which relieves so much tension from our bodies. Tears trigger feel-good hormones and they also help flush stress hormones out of your body. Crying sends an increased blood flow to the brain, which can give you a sense of physical relief as it literally cools the brain down. Crying is also proven to help you sleep better. If you feel the urge to cry then don’t hold back the tears, they are there for a reason. Read more about the health benefits of crying. (If you find yourself crying all the time, you might need to seek professional support for depression.) 

We’ll be sharing more mental health and wellbeing tips on our blog. Stay tuned!